What did nazi pilots eat for breakfast? Luftwaffles
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My Wife is refusing to fry any food and is insisting on eating healthier. She is turning into a Kitchen Nazi. She keeps sticking everything in the oven.
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How do you comfort a grammar nazi? Pat him or her on the back and say, “Their, they’re…”
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“Hot damn!” – the Nazi’s probably after their dams were destroyed. I don’t know; I’m not a historian. It’s just an educated guess.
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I’ve never been one for Nazi jokes… I’ve been nein for them.
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When a grammar Nazi gets sad give them a hug and say “There, their, they’re.”
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When grammar nazis correct me, I start to make errors on purpose to mess with them. You can say I’m passive, aggressive.
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What do you call the man who proofread Hitler’s speeches? The original grammar Nazi.
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What did Hitler say when he put on a blindfold? “I can Nazi.”
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Have you heard of the grammar nazi? He is really anti-semantic…
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Where do nazis go on vacation? The holocoast.
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why did my wife didn’t like her jewellery? cuz she is a nazi
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What do you say when comforting a grammar nazi? There, their, they’re……
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How does Hitler tie his shoes? In little Nazis.
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The guy who proofread Hitler’s speeches was a Grammar Nazi.
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How to comfort a Grammar Nazi “They’re Their There”
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A far right party wins an election in Germany with 60% of the vote. I did nazi that coming
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what does a Nazi turkey say? “Goebbles Goesbbles”
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What do Nazi Germany and vaginas have in common? Their tendency to subjugate poles.
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What do you say when you are comforting a grammar nazi? There, Their, They’re
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What do Nazi marijuana farmers say to their employees? BALE HYDRO!!
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I wish instead of Grammar Nazis there were Grammar Angels. They’d quietly whisper, “Baby, you made a mistake. Let me fix it for you. -hug-”
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My Grandfather was one of those Unorthodox Jews. He was a Nazi.
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Families that do Christmas card photo shoots months before Christmas have the organizational skills of high-level Nazis.
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Q: How does Hitler tie his shoes? A: With little Nazis.
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I am a proud member of Grammar Nazi… And your not.
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What do you call a Nazi turkey? Joseph Gobbles.
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Q: What did the blind German say? A: I can Nazi you!
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How many Nazis does it take to screw in 6 million lightbulbs? One. The rest were just following orders.
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That sunken Nazi submarine they just found is a lot like my girlfriend Dead and full of seamen
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What’s the difference between feminists and Nazis? The Nazis shaved.
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I never knew Godwin’s law was in the English Oxford dictionary.. What a bunch of language fascists. edited: grammar Nazis
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I’ll never forgive the Nazis for how they treated my Granddad in that concentration camp during the war… Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion…
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My grandfather is such a grammar Nazi that he made every Jew in the camp practice writing every day.
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What is a Nazi baker’s secret ingredient? White Flour!
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Have you heard about the new up and coming racially biased dice game? They’re calling it nazi
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What do a flat-earther, a Nazi, and YOU have in common? They all get one vote.
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What did the Nazi without a car say? Damnit! Now I’m going to have to sieg HAIL a cab!
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How many Nazis did it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, despite crimes against humanity they were efficient people and had state of the art engineering.
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[1st date] {don’t let her know you’re Hitler} HER: what are you going to eat? ME: definitely not seafood HER: did u say nazi food? ME: shit
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Hey, thanks for making sure “Nazi” is capitalized, iPhone. Way to honor them.
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Do you know what else are nazis? The other 25 letter of the alphabet.
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“Sir, we are mining too many useless ores” *Hitler rubs chin* So mine less. [GRAMMAR NAZI BUSTS IN] “MINE FEWER.” [Hitler looks up] Yes?
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[wakes up from a 72-year-long coma] oh nazis are still a thing huh
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What do you say when comforting a grammar nazi? There…their…they’re..
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Why don’t Nazi’s like strip clubs? Because, they don’t like Poles.
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Either a lying war criminal endorsed by the KKK or a Neo Nazi reality TV star are going to be President of America. It’s not funny. But it is a fucking joke. America, sort your shit out.
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When Germany won the World Cup, I did nazi that coming.
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Chuck Norris was born May 6th 1945. The Nazis surrendered May 7th 1945.
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I don’t like Holocaust jokes… I do Nazi why they’re funny, Anne Frankly they’re quite offensive. EDIT: a word
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How come Hitler never went to the movies? Because he could nazi!
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Where do Grammar Nazis get put on trial? You’re*-emburg ^^^^^^I’m ^^^^^^sorry… **Edit: obligatory second page post. Can’t believe I’m on the second page!**
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im back with another knee slapper !! “i leterally did nazi see that coming! – an frank funny joke am i righte ??
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My WWII joke is quite predictable How did Jew Nazi that coming?
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What do you call Nazis from San Francisco? Bay Aryans
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Contrary to common belief, only 5.7 million Jews were killed during the Holocuast, for you see… the Nazis were known for rounding them up.
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Why don’t neo-nazis use the forward button on their browsers? Because they Alt-Right instead.
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What happened when Hitler got bratwurst juice in his eye? He could Nazi! LMFAO
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Three Nazis walk into a BAR They all get shot.
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Who’s the best grammar Nazi? Adolf Hitler’s grandmother.
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If you use a wrong word in a tweet and a grammar nazi loses his shit- Try these consoling words : “Their, there, they’re. It’ll be okay”
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me: maybe those nazi salutes… we’re just them reaching for the stars… McDonald’s manager: this is the fastest I’ve ever fired someone
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What do you call a Nazi cetacean? Adolfin.
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How did Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis
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What do neo-Nazis do on Hitler’s birthday? Heil if I know
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Gotta admire the Nazi’s ethics on medical research… …since they advanced the field without hurting any animals.
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What do you call a Nazi who survived the war? A veterinarian
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What did Hitler say to the student that got a question wrong? That is Nazi answer.
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Try not to put yourself in a position where you have to say “I’m not actually a Nazi”
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If a user posts Nazi-related offensive content and a German moderator sees it, what happens to the user? He gets banschlussed.
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There’s a lot of hate against Neo-Nazi groups… But you must agree with them that Hitler was right
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What is a Germans favorite letter? I don’t know but it’s Nazi.
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what do Nazis drive? Auchwhips
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Why was “C” afraid of the rest of the alphabet? Because they were “Nazis”!!!! eyyyyy 😀
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ANIMALS IT’S OK TO KILL IN AFRICA 1. Mosquitoes 2. Terminally ill zebra who signed a DNR 3. The Nazi monkey from Raiders of the Lost Ark
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If the Nazi’s were a football team, what would be their favorite play? Blitz!
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Nazis and the great depression, I get it, Grandpa. But did you have to hear the word ‘selfie’ every fucking day? Did you?!
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Why was Hitler confused when he arrived in hell? He did Nazi the Aryan his ways.
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An Old German Visits the Doctor. His doctor comes into the room with a frown on his face, and tells him he has Lung Cancer. “Well,” the German says, “I did Nazi that coming.”
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Why do we hire Nazis as Game Developers? Because they’re Pro-Grammer.
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How did Nazi’s pickup Jewish Women? With a dust pan and broom
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I wish I was Jewish Every time somebody farted I could say: “Are you a Nazi? Because you just gassed a Jew.”
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What do you call an experienced Nazi doctor who treats animals? A veteran Aryan
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2 Nazis walk into a BAR They each get 10 shots
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They’re not called grammar nazis anymore. They’re the Alt-Write.
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[offensive] jews KNOCK KNOCK Who’s there Nazi Nazi who? Who killed the jews? Natz me.
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What did the Mooslim say to the Nazi? Don’t you hate it when a few bad apples make us all look bad?
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To the girl with the nazi swastika avi that just rt’d me…… You just rt’d a Jew!!!! Enjoy your evening shalom
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Me: I’m super funny. I mean, how could 13K people be wrong? Husband: There were WAY more people in the Nazi party. Me:……………..
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Why can’t the Chinese be Nazis? Two Wongs don’t make a Reich
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Journalist asks a neo-nazi “what do you have against foreigners?” “I have an axe”
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What did the Nazi say… What did the Nazi say when he got lost on the way to the gas chamber? AUU-SCHWIT
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whats Hitlers relationship status… He’s Nazing anybody
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What do you call Nazis undergoing decomposition? Necrotizing Fascists.
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What Does A Nazi Turkey Say? Goebbels, Goebbels, Goebbels
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Why did the grammar nazi request someone else’s tombstone to be placed on his grave? He was a big fan of transferred epitaph.
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What do you say when comforting a grammar Nazi? There, their, they’re
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What did the Nazi doctor tell his fully dilated patient.? Just one more putsch.
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Scrabble was invented by Nazi’s to piss off kids with dyslexia. The word “dyslexia” was invented by Nazi’s to piss off kids wigh dyslexia.
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TIL During World War 2 over 200 civilian and resistance soldiers of Albania managed to ambush a convoy of soldiers and destroy their equipment. Reports say the soldiers did nazi them coming
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What did the french say to the Nazis when they invaded ? Table for 50,000?
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Why did the USSR agree to a nonaggression pact with Nazi Germany? They were Stalin.
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Joke I just made up: what’s a neo nazis favorite sports drink? White powerade!
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I will never forgive the nazis for what they did to my grandfather He worked 8 years on the guard tower with out a single promotion
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did you know there are people who hate jews who are not nazis? yeah, they.re called tenants.
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Ever find buried treasure in your grandpas backyard containing passports, Nazi uniforms, and a photo with Papa with the Fuhrer inside? Yeah.
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What does a Nazi reach for when he has a head cold? Mein Camphor
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My ex called me a peadophile… Pretty big word for a 6 year old. Edit for all the nazis: paedophile… Common typo and not the worst in the world imo
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What do you call the person who revised Hitler’s speeches? Grammar Nazi
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A Nazi is beating a Soviet at a political debate. The Soviet says he needs to take a bathroom break. The Nazi says: “Now you’re just Stalin”.
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How do you comfort a grammar Nazi? There,They’re,Their . . .
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What did the SS officer say after having his eye shot out? I can nazi.
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Did you hear about the court ruling on the grammar Nazi who did the double-murder? He got a compound sentence.
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Why are Nazis so good at math? They always come up with the final solution.
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What do you call a nazi gardeners foot pain? A facist planter’s Plantar Fasciitis.
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What was a positive accomplishments made by the Nazi party? The leader killed Hitler OP: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3grkqb/what_were_some_positive_accomplishments_made_by/
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What do grammar nazis order at Burger King? Two Whoppers Junior
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Did you hear about how they spotted a Nazi in the sea? It’s okay, it’s just adolfin
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Who proofread Hitler’s speeches? A grammar nazi
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Why did Hitler visit the optometrist so much? cause he could nazi
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I’ll have you know my grandfather was killed by a Nazi. He committed suicide
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What’s worse than a fish in the SS? *Adolf*in. Man, I did *Nazi* that coming.
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What do you call the concentration camp prisoners who kept pestering the guards with questions? Askanazi Jews
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Why were the letters a-y banned? They were all nazis
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Which Nazi leader likes the Bulls the most? Joseph gobulls!
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Why did the French construct the Maginot Line? To keep the Nazis in Czech!
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What do nazis use to mass produce toys? A vinyl solution.
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I don’t think it’s correct to call them grammar Nazis anymore… They seem to prefer the label “alt-write” nowadays.
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What are the other letters of the alphabet? Nazis.
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how do you hide from hitler? Standstill…. he can nazi.
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Missing a period is probably a Grammar Nazi’s worst nightmare.
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Want to hear a joke about the Nazis? Not Reich now.
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Why is “Z” afraid of all of the other letters? Because they’re Not-Z’s (*Nazis*)
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What happened when Hitler lost his glasses? He could Nazi.
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Breaking News: Uncovered Nazi documents reveal a cure for cancer was found An oven..
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What was the Neo Nazi’s favorite computer game? Mein Kraft
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What’s the difference between a nazi and a gay guy? 45 degrees of the wrist
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I made a knock-knock joke for ya Me: knock-knock You: Who’s there? Me: DEAD NAZI! You:… Dead nazi who? Me: I bet you Dead Nazi that one coming.
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God talked to Jews like 500 times in the Old Testament, and not one warning about the Nazis.
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Nazis would love heather bresch Because she is killing off the genetically impure
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It’s hotter than A Nazi oven in the summer.
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The guy who proofread Hitler’s speaches was literally a grammar Nazi.
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Did you hear about the convicted grammar Nazi? He was *sentenced* to death
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My grandmother hates it when I make spelling errors One might say she’s a grandma nazi.
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What were Nazi turkeys forced to do each Thanksgiving? Goebel Goebbels.
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Q: What do you call a blind German? A: A Not See (Nazi)
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How did little Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.
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How do you call a nazi that doesn’t react? A neon nazi
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Instead of Grammar Nazis, can we call them Grammar Alt Rights? Because your Grammar sure isn’t Altright.
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Where did socially awkward Nazis get sent? To the conversation camp! (That was a part of my shower thoughts and popped spontaneously into my mind)
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My work day has been like the movie Sound of Music. But with less singing. And more Nazis.
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What is it with lesbians? If they hate men so much, why do they dress like them? You never see a Jew dressed as a Nazi.
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What do you say to comfort the grammar nazi? There, their, they’re…
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No YOUR a grammar nazi!
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What do you call a grammar Nazi in 2016? An alt-writer.
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They’re really just “Grammer Nazis” But the media keeps calling them “Alt-Write”
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The Nazi’s weren’t bad guys. And I know I’m 100% reich about this.
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What do Nazi pilots eat for breakfast? Luftwaffles
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What did the Nazi boy say to his sweetheart? I reich you.
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What type of drink do gay nazis hate? Juice
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How do Germans tie their shoes? In little Nazis
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Femi-Nazi Moderator Free speech to hell
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I hate people who support the Nazis They’re such deutschbags.
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I saw many places when I fought in WWII.. But I did Nazi Germany.
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Why couldn’t Hitler fly a plane? Because he could Nazi very well.
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A Nazi and Jew walk into a bar…. Or was it a gas chamber i can’t remember
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Where can Grammar Nazis find asylum? Grammargentina
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I’m sorry I said the Nazis were also a party when you invited me to celebrate your kid’s first birthday.
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How many Nazi skin heads does it take to screw in a light bulb? 10, 1 to do it and 9 to back him up. Source: https://redandblackbritain.wordpress.com/humour/
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What percentage of germans are not nazis? ninety-nine point nein nein nein nein nein nein nein percent
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What’s the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? One’s an overblown Nazi gasbag and the other’s a dirigible.
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What do nazis eat for breakfast? Luftwaffles
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I’m a grammar nazi. I’m also a regular nazi, but that’s a different story.
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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis, tiny little knotziz
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Why did Russia sign the non-aggression pact with NazI Germany? They were Stalin for time.
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What would you title a movie about a Nazi roofer with a speech impediment? Shinglers Lisp.
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Did you hear about a vampire that joined the Nazi party? He was nazi in the mirror as well.
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Why was Hitler late to his meeting? He did nazi how late it was!
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There are lots of reasons to hate the Nazis. Mine? They didn’t finish the job.
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Grammar Nazi hiding in Argentina captured after being baited on social media with an inappropriate you’re usage
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Where did all the Sephardic Jews go? I dunno, you’ll have to Ashkenazi
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What did Nazis do to kids with ADHD/ADD? They sent them to concentration camps.
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How many lives does a Nazi cat have? Nein
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What do you call a 20th century grammar nazi? Alt-Write
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What do you call a porpoise that acts like a Nazi? Adolfin’
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I don’t like Nazi jokes… …they’re far beyond Mein Kampfort zone.
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How did Hitler react to the fall of Berlin? He did Nazi-it coming.
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What do Nazis have for breakfast Luftwaffles
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What do Nazis do on a beach vacation? They ride on Adolf-in no? I’ll see myself out.
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Why did Hitler need glasses? He could NAZI
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Did you know Japanese goddess Izanami was a Nazi? Just read her name backwards!
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Grammar Nazis have typo negative blood.
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Today I learned the Nazis were instrumental in the creation of Tang and other powdered fruit drinks But it didn’t get far since Hitler hated the juice.
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Grammar Nazi. “Sir, we are mining too many useless cores” [Hitler rubs chin] “So, mine less. [Grammar Nazi bursts through the door] “MINE FEWER!” [Hitler looks up] “Yes, soldier?”
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R news are nazis This is how it works, right? Can i get my karma points now i need karma
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How many nazi’s does it take to screw in a lightbulb?? Nein
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Why Hitler used uBoots? Because the enemy did nazi them coming.
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What did the Nazi say to the clock that only went: “tick ____ tick ____ tick ____” ? “Ve have Vays of making you tock!”
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What do you say when you are trying to comfort a grammar nazi? There, their, they’re
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Why did Hitler lose WWII? He did NAZI it coming
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How many Nazis does it take to finish a race? None, Nazis can’t finish a race.
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You know my grandfather died in a Nazi prison camp? He died falling off a watch tower
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Once saw a bunch of Nazis saluting in icy precipitation. It was quite the heil storm.
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How are redditors and nazis similar? They both love gold trains.
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Who do grammar nazis hang out with now? The alt-write.
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What did they call taxi drivers in Nazi Germany? Ubermensch.
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What do you call a blind German? A Nazi
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How did people travel through Germany when Hitler was in power? Not sea. Get it? like Nazi. but not sea. get it?
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Screaming, “Hitler and the Nazi Party are in a disarray!” when nudged at parties tells everyone that you fall asleep to the History Channel.
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I don’t know why some people are so against jokes about the Nazi’s They kill in the Jewish communities
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In 1940 Goebbels made a speech… Proclaiming that the Swastika was an example of the Golden Ratio. Turns out it was a fibbin’ Nazi…
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What do you call a Nazi doctor that served in WWII and only took animal patients? A Veteran Aryan Veterinarian!
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How many Nazis does it take to screw in a lightbulb?? One. He makes three Polacks do it at gunpoint.
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How did the jews fight off Nazis? Jew jitsu
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How do you kill a Grammar Nazi? mkae tehm brun tiehr eeys owt Eidt: sepleinlg croertcoin
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What do nazi’s use to clean their yard of dog shit? The Turd Rake.
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1942: How can we beat the Nazis? 1968: How can we go to the moon? 2006: How can a phone be a supercomputer? 2016: How can we beat the Nazis?
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I did not expect Brazil to get beaten this badly by Germany I really did Nazi it coming
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How do you calm down a grammar Nazi? There they’re their…
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People say I shouldn’t have bought so many books about the Nazis But I was only obeying Borders.
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What did the jew post to the nazi subreddit? r/roastme
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How did Hitler tie his shoes? With little nazis.
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Say what you will about grammar nazis At least they aren’t anti-semantic.
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How do Germans tie there shoes? With little Nazis.
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What do Jews in Nazi Germany and children at Penn State have in common? They’re both afraid of showers
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How many grammar nazi’s does it take to change a light bulb How many grammar Nazis does it take to change a light bulb? FTFY.
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What was Hitler’s problem when the lights went out? He could Nazi. Edit: Fuck me, Reddit. I heard you *liked* puns…
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What doesn’t kill a grammar nazi makes me wronger.
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Why british wete at war with nazi germany? Because they couldnt afford another Aryans stealing their tea.
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“How did you go in the exam on Nazi invasions?” “I blitzed it.”
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how to comfort a grammar Nazi: Pat their shoulder and say, “Their, They’re, There.”
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Why did the Nazi cross the road? to get to the geno-side.
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If you aren’t a Nazi right now, thank a veteran.
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Why did the nazi refuse to drink lemonade? He hated acidic juice.
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Why was Hitler diagnosed with blindness? Because he could nazi anyone.
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I hate the Nazis so much They make me goddamned Fuhrious!
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What do you call a Nazi’s concealed weapon? Auschwitz blade!
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What does a Nazi Turkey say? Goebbels, Goebbels,Goebbels…
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What did the Nazi say to the pregnant Jew? I see you have another Jew in the oven.
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How do you comfort a grammar nazi? “There, they’re, their.”
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Grammar Nazis really make me fuhrious. I’m sorry. That joke was really out of mein kampfort zone. Anne Frankly, it was just bad.
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What did the Nazi say to the clock that went tick-tick-tick? Ve have vays of making you tock…
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I’m not suggesting Cher is a nazi, but at no point during “If I Could Turn Back Time” does she mention killing Hitler.
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Ok redditors i need your best volleyball or nazi puns!
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Why do Nazis hate Canadian summers? They’re mostly Julys.
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Why is Donald Trump such a surprise? People did Nazi him coming.
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A nazi walks into a juice store and asks for some juice The owner says, sorry, we got no juice
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Funny, those Baby Einstein videos don’t mention anything about how he fled Baby Europe to escape the Baby Nazis.
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What do you call an unemployed Nazi? Laid-off Hitler!
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I love when commercials are like “because four million people can’t be wrong,” because then I’m like, “Really? even Nazi Germany?”
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how did hitler tie his shoesies? with little nazis
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What don’t you say to console a grammar nazi? “There their they’re, it’ll be okay!”
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Two jews walk into a bar Jk lol I’m a Fukien nazi
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Hitler on mining “Sir, we are mining too many useless ores” [Hitler rubs chin] “So mine less” [Grammar Nazi bursts through the door] “MINE FEWER!” [Hitler looks up] “Yes?”
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What blood type are most grammar Nazis have? A Type O
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Did you hear about the new movie about the Nazi with a speech impediment? Schindler’s Lisp
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How do you comfort a Grammar Nazi? There, their, they’re
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Grammar Nazi If somebody who is really anal about proper grammar is called a Grammar Nazi, is someone who constantly makes grammatical mistakes a Grammar Jew?
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Nazi jokes are so offensive Anne Frankly, I find them immature.
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There have been a lot of pro nazi posts on here lately Anne Frankly I’m sick of it
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The problem with grammar nazis? They’re anti-semantic.
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If Ben Franklin was a Nazi, how would he have discovered electricity? By frying kikes.
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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With Nazi’s
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Why do historians believe all nazis were women? They all had blood on their hands. Credit of the joke goes to James of FunHaus
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Did you hear that Tropicana funded the Nazi campaign? They made Jews from concentrate.
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I never use the term “feminazi”… Because the Nazis actually got stuff done. Edit: Thanks for all the love and hate Reddit.
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Grammar Nazi vs. Hitler Soldier:”Sir, we are mining too many useless ores.” Hitler:”So mine less!” [Grammar Nazi busts in] “MINE FEWER” [Hitler looks up] “Yes?”
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Why was Kermit chased by nazis as a kid? He was a Tad-Pole
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What did Hitler say when the Allies landed on Normandy? Dang, I did Nazi that coming.
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Where did the Nazis send the Juice? To the concentration camps.
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I think you are amayonazing! I’d take it as a condiment.
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How do you comfort a grammar Nazi? “…They’re, their, there.”
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What did the Nazi Police Officer Give to the Schoolchildren? SWAT Sticka’s!
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How do you piss off 2 feminazis? Put them in a room with each other
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My grandfather died in a concentration camp in Nazi Germany… … he fell from a watchtower when he got drunk again.
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Why are jeering baseball fans like Grammar Nazis? They make the badder worse.
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2 nazis walk into a bar
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What company did the Nazis use to move the Jews to concentration camps? Jew-Haul
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Hey Feminazis, I sprained my wrist jet-skiing this weekend, so you can shut up about the “pain of childbirth.”
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*texts god* Me: yo, can we add “being a grammar nazi” to the list of sins? Their annoying. God: *they’re
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How do you get to Nazi Germany It’s on the third right EDIT: Woah this is like my third day here front page? I feel special now.
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Some grammar Nazis told me about a seminar they are going to attend about cause and effect. They’re there to affect its effect and it’s there for their two affects too.
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Storm What do call if it was raining Nazis? A Heil storm
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What did the Nazi become after the war ended? A veterinarian (veteran aryan).
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Unless you’ve studied Nazism at a Nazi university and you’ve read Mein Kampf (in German), your criticism of Nazism isn’t valid -Nobody ever
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Judge: The defendant is claiming you’re a nazi. Is this true? Lawyer: *flustered* er no fuhrer questions your honour *courtroom gasps*
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What do you call a blind german? A not-see (Nazi).
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What do running shoes and Neo-Nazis have in common? Both make Jews run faster! (Sorry, but as an agnostic Jew myself, I hope that it’s okay for me to make this joke.)
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What do Grammar Nazis support? The Third Write
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I booked a taxi today When it arrives I threw up a Nazi salute. I bet no one’s thought of heiling a cab before
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My wife told me to stop making holocaust puns today Im telling Jew i did Nazi that coming
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What did the Soviet man have to say about the Nazis? U SS R the worst
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In the 1945-6 Nuremberg Trials what should have been the opening statement from the defence counsel representing the Nazi War criminals? ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.’
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This World Cup game is crazy Brazil did nazi this coming.
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What does an antisemite say when he rolls five of a kind? “Nazi!”
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“I’m on the Reich track baby, I was born this race.” -Nazi Gaga
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What did the white supremacist say to his friend after watching a plot twist? I did Nazi that coming.
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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis
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Nazi jokes… Just aren’t Reich.
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How does Hitler tie his shoesies? With little nazis.
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A Nazi walks into a BAR… Browning automatic rifle
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What does Matthew McConnaughey call Nazis when he’s trying to bring them into the mainstream? Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right
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You ever hear of the Nazi strip club? They don’t make it rain, they make it Heil!
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Grammer nazis are the worse. Thank you four you’re time.
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An old Jewish man won the lottery, and decided to donate half of it to the nazi party. “Fair is fair,” he said. “They gave me the winning numbers.”
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People who call themselves “grammar Nazis” deserve the worst possible sentence.
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What do women and grammar Nazis have in common? One missed period is enough to freak them out.
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Why did the Nazi fraulein move to Budapest? She heard there were hung Aryans.
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Hitler’s proofreader for Mein Kampf was literally a Grammar Nazi.
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Three guys walk into a bar… And their families are slowly torn apart by alcoholism. (Edit: typo pointed out by grammar Nazi)
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Feminazis love Game of Thrones…….. Cause all men must die
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What no running shoes and Neo-Nazis have in common? Both make Jews run faster! (Sorry, but as an agnostic Jew myself, I hope that it’s okay for me to make this joke.)
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I was going to make a Nazi joke but. It is out of mein kampfort zone.
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Went to a Trump rally in New Hampshire this week. Hard to describe the vibe, but “what if the Nazis didn’t care about fitness?” comes close.
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What’s a good punch line to a Nazi themed anti-joke? Can you **not see** where I am going with this?
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What do Nazis drink for breakfast? Orange Jews.
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“Nazis!” – the History Channel
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NAZI: I’m a Nazi MEDIA: How controversial NAZI: I said I was a Nazi MEDIA: Your clothes are beautifully tailored
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What kind of deoderant did the nazis wear? Reich Guard
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I can’t call people Grammar Nazis on social media anymore…. Now I call them the Alt-Write.
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Trump winning the election I did nazi that coming
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Three Nazi’s walk into a B.A.R. …
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Why was hitler’s suicide such a suprise? Because we did nazi it coming
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Why do Nazis love Vinyls? Cause you can turn the tables from 45 to 33.
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What did the Jew say when he evaded the Nazi officers? Auschwitz! That was close!
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History Trivia: In many photographs of Hitler,a golden retriever wearing a Nazi uniform can be seen. This is notorious war criminal Herr Bud
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Call Me crazy, but the ideal number of times a Pope should have once been a member of the Nazi Youth is zero.
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[Different] Why isn’t Hitler in Mario Kart? Because he can Nazi the road.
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If I had a time machine I’d go back to Germany in 1933 and change my Facebook avatar to an anti-Nazi logo.
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How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb? None Enough light comes in through the glass ceiling
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What did the Nazi do after World War II? He became a veteran Aryan.
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What was Hitler’s favorite way to tie his boots? In Nazi’s!
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Why did Hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi
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If you can’t concentrate, rub your nipples. It won’t help, but concentration is overrated anyway. You know who likes concentration? Nazis.
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Meanwhile, in an alternate universe where the Nazi’s empire reaches to all four corners of the universe… They’ve become a Reichtangle.
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I asked the Nazi store for a discount They gave me 8 off.
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How did the Nazis come up with the name for their concentration camp? After the first Jew off the train said “Awe shits.”
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The person who proofread all of Hitler’s speeches Was a Grammar Nazi ( )
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What do you say to a grammar nazi who just got their left side cut off? Their, they’re, there. You’ll be all right.
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My son just told me he wouldn’t kill baby Hitler b/c of what that would do to the space program. Not 100% sure if he’s a Nazi or just a nerd
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“Sir, we are mining too many useless ores” *Hitler rubs chin* So mine less [Grammar Nazi busts in] “MINE FEWER” [Hitler looks up] Yes?
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*hitler leans in close to the mic* and the next person to question me gets executioned *grammar nazi bites lip*
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Why did the blind Jew hate driving in Germany? When it came to speed bumps, he did nazi them coming
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This is one of those gems thought up at 4 am, why does nobody listen to Neo-Nazis? It’s all just white noise.
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“I’m proud to be an American” “I’m proud to be American!” said the American. “I’m proud to be Canadian!” said the Canadian. “I’m proud to be German!” said the Nazi.
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I’m not a Grammar Nazi! I’m alt-write.
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What is a nazi’s favourite food? Luftwaffles
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What do you call a Starving German Woman Faminenazi
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Trump interrupted Hilary Clinton up to 51 times in the first debate: Even grammer nazis interrupted fewer.
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What did the Nazi/Islamist soccer team say when they lost the game? The shoes did it!
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Favorite joke as a kid. How did Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.
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When the grammar nazi learned his friend had less than 6 months to live. *fewer
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Why should you never tell jokes about Hitler? Because your friends might Nazi (not see) the humor.
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What form of hand-to-hand combat did the Nazis use? Jew Jitsu
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I was told I look like a nazi soldier… And I said, “no, this is a Wehrmacht uniform”.
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What do you tell a nazi with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told Richard Spencer twice!
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What did the Nazi Officer say when he saw the Americans approaching? Au Schwitz!
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Sleeping in central park Is it going too far to equate my experience sleeping in central park to being a Jewish person in nazi germany…
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Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it! EDIT: to please all the grammar Nazis of the world
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I was appalled to learn about Hitler’s uprising. Anne Frankly, I did Nazi that coming.
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Hitler pun “Sir, we’re mining too many useless minerals.” Hitler: “So mine less.” Grammar Nazi busts in. “MINE FEWER.” (Hitler looks up) “Yes?”
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A Nazi Redditor walks into a B.A.R He died.
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How does a German tie his shoes? In little Nazis
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On “Anne frankly” and “I did nazi that coming”… Those *Panzer* gettin`old
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What social movement were nazis really into? Aryan Reichts
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Reddit gold is a lot like Nazi gold Accumulated over the corpses of people you’ve burned
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What do you call a german that can’t see? A nazi.
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How do you comfort a grammar Nazi? they’re, their, there
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What’s the difference between feminists and Nazis? The Nazis had a purpose
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How do little german children tie their shoes? In little nazis!
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Did you hear about the new 8bit Nazi Simulator game? It’s called Eightolf Bitler.
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What do you call a Nazi who left the war to become an animal doctor? A Veteran Aryan
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My class was reading a book. It was called Taming of the Shrew. Someone blurted out loud, “I just thought of a Nazi version!” “Taming of the Jews!” ***** ^^^^not ^^^^oc
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Neo Nazi? Morpheus unhappy.
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Why is Nazi cooking horrible? Because everything is burnt but with a Jewey center.
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Why does the nazi love to bring his jewish friend to indian restaurants? Because he loves to order some **sizlar** for his jewish friend.
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Why did the blind jew got killed? because he could nazi
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My great great grandfather died in a Nazi death camp. He fell off of a guard tower.
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What do you call a blind German? A nazi.
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What do dads and grammar Nazis have in common? They’re not there.
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What do you call a Nazi who is social and moves freely at a party? Josef Mengeling
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I know I’m being such a grammar Nazi, but it’s “Jew-rats make me NAUSEATED,” not “Jew-rats make me NAUSEOUS”
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I once tried to become a Nazi… …but killing people was outside mein kampf-ort zone.
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The term “Grammar Nazi” is no longer as common It is now called the “alt-write”.
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I set up an internet page for Chinese Nazis. So far it’s got 3 Reichs on Facebook.
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Why didn’t Hitler cross the road? Because he could nazi anything
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I Read Something In The Newspaper A few days ago, there was an article in the newspaper obituaries titled “Survivor of Nazi Death Train Dies” … I guess he’s not a survivor anymore.
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Confucius say: Nazi soldier who popular with ladies may be Hungaryan.
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A feminist grammar-nazi’s favourite joke (NOT a mean joke) A woman without her man is nothing! “Wait, that’s not quite right!” A woman; without her, man is nothing!
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How does Hitler tie his shoes? In little Nazis
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Why did the nazi work in the animal hospital after the war? He was a veteran Aryan.
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My English teacher is living proof that Grammar Nazis still exist. Sorry… Alt-Write.
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A Nazi scientist walks into Burger King He asks for a Whopper, and the guy at the counter replies: “Don’t you mean a *Heisenburger*?”
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What did the Nazi with celiac disease say at the breakfast table? Excuse me, but is this cereal Glutenfrei?
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Why did the blind man become Hitler? Because he could **Nazi.** *(disclaimer may have to read aloud for joke to occur, if laughing occurs for more than 4 seconds please contact your doctor)*
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What is a Nazi’s favorite bird? Q: What’s a Nazi’s favorite bird? A: Austrich
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Flo Rida Did you know Right Round by Flo Rida was actually taken from an old Nazi spiritual from the ’40’s? Oh yeah, the original goes like this: Jew spin mein head reich round, reich round…
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Now why don’t sumo wresters shave their heads? To avoid being mistaken for nazis.
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Heard about the Berlin Comedy Club in the 1940s? It was Nazi time for Holocaust jokes.
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I’ll never forgive the Nazis for how they treated my grandad in that concentration camp during the war… Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion…
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Jokes about nazi concentration camps really offend me My great grandfather died in a holocaust camp. He got really drunk and fell out of a guard tower
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I am not a “Grammar Nazi”… I prefer the term “Alt-Write”.
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To people calling themselves “Grammar Nazis”: you’re not correcting grammar so much as punctuation or spelling. Hi, I’m a Nomenclature Nazi.
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What’s Hitler’s favourite cany? Nazipan
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How does a Nazi high five? Up heil, down low!
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What do you call Keanu Reeves when he served under Hitler? A Neo Nazi.
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Google is now filtering out Holocaust denier websites from searches Now we will nazi those results.
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Why did Hitler commit suicide suddenly? He lost the war.and he did Nazi that coming..
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My Grandpa: killed 17 Nazis and singlehandedly saved his entire battalion in WWII Me: Sits around all day making up stories about my Grandpa
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5-year-old: What are Nazis? Me: Bad people who we killed a long, long time ago 5: Why were they bad? Me: They kept correcting our grammar
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What do you call a blind german? A Not – see (Nazi)
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What do you say when you see a Nazi trip and fall? “Are you Alt-right?”
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What did the Belgian Nazis call themselves? The Waffle S.S.
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What is the main attraction at a Nazi Theme park? Genoslide.
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Why was Good Friday a favorite Nazi holiday? Because people all over the world celebrated the death of a Jew.
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Where can you buy nazi related items at the store? Aisle Hitler
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How many Nazis does it take to deny the holocaust? Nein nein nein!!!
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Need help with a joke! What’s a funny reason that Germany or Germans can’t be trusted that doesn’t have to do with nazis?
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Apparently the same firm rents buildings to both ISIS and Neo-Nazis. You could say they’re the lessor of two evils.
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What did the Nazi say to the Cowboy? Reich for the sky!
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What’s the NSDAP’s favourite kind of Jew? I dunno, ashkenazi!
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Why are all the streets in Paris lined with trees? Because Nazis prefer to march in the shade.
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How does one make a Nazi? With a ropesy.
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Just thought of a nazi knock knock joke (probably said before) Knock knock Whos there? Nazis Nazis who? No wonder we killed millions of you.
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The term ‘Grammar Nazi’ is outdated and offensive… …we prefer to be called the Alt-Write
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What do you say when you’re comforting a grammar nazi? There,Their,They’re
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How did Hitler tie his shoes? In little Nazis
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What does the old Nazi call his favorite reclining chair? Mein Kampfy chair.
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Hitler had one hell of a speech writer. People called him the grammar nazi.
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How do you comfort a grammar nazi? There, their, they’re.
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What did the Nazi officer say when he was captured? It’s not me; it’s Jew.
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What do call a Nazi that takes bribes? Paid-off Hitler!
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What’s green and flies over Germany ? Snazis. This insanely corny joke brought to you by my Dad, circa 1990. May he rest in peace!
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Are the Nazis who fought in WWII veteran-Aryans? And can I bring my dog to them for a checkup?
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How did hitler tie his shoes? In little nazis
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How does Hitler tie his shoes? In littles Nazis.
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2 nazis walk into a bar, third one ducks.. just at the reich moment.
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What do you say when you’re comforting a grammar Nazi? There, their, they’re.
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The actress that played Anne Frank in the Anne |Frank story was so bad….. That the scene where the Nazis entered the stage and said “where is she” the audience shouted “she’s in the attic”.
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How do Germans tie their shoes? In little nazis
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Who was appointed as a proof reader of Hitler’s speeches? A Grammar Nazi
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What did the Nazi interrogater say to the clock that would only tick? “Ve have vays of making you tock!”
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What is the difference between feminists and Nazis? One group has a purpose and lots of support and the other is full of nagging women.
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I’ll never forgive the Nazis for how they treated my granddad in that concentration camp during the war. Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion…
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You don’t hear much from our Vice President…. Obama zipped him up and he’s a-biden. Edit: typo. For you, grammar nazis.
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Why does everybody hate the grammar nazi He’s just trying to make it Reich
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What do you say when you are comforting a grammar Nazi? there, their, they’re.
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How did Hitler tie his shoes? In little nazis. Oldie but still good.
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The Grammar Nazis burst in. “We know you’re harbouring Jews, Mrs Gies” “There ain’t no Jews here!” “Double negative! Search the attic, boys”
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People keep accusing me of using the wrong words in my sentences. It’s like everyone in my life has turned into a grandma nazi.
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Why did Eva Braun dislike giving Hitler blowjobs? Because he left a Nazi taste in her mouth.
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Why are there so many grammar Nazis on the internet? Because English majors have no jobs.
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What do you call an airline run by nazis? Aryan Air
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Why are Nazis such bad DJs? Because they dont get the difference between 33 and 45.
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What sea mammal controls Nazi Germany? Adolf-in
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you know how Hitler used to tie his shoes? In little nazis
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I just saw a Nazi drive past me at 88 mph Probably going Back to the Fuhrer
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In a spelling bee contest, what is a Jewish candidates worst nightmare? A grammar Nazi
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How do you comfort a grammar nazi? Their, they’re, there.
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In college, I liked beer more than Girls. A beer can’t change its mind after you get its top off. Edit: Thanks, grammar Nazis
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What if Hitler was cast for ‘The Matrix’ instead of Keanu Reeves? The movie would have been pretty… Neo-Nazi.
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Why are Trump supporters *not* Nazis? When Nazis demanded your papers, they said “please.”
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What gives you uncontrollable gas? Nazis
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Grammar Nazis see things only two ways The Reich way or the wrong way
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