Some short jokes about Austria

Who was the greatest female author in German history? Ann Schluss. Her books had a way of taking over Czechoslovakia and Austria in particular.

Have you heard of the Austrian man Duerf? He was the world’s leading reverse psychologist

What do you call an Austrian woman’s undergarments? A Freudian Slip.

Why did Turkey disappear? Because Austria was Hungary.

What does a mole think, when he digs trough lower Austria? Make way, children.

What’s the greatest trick the Austrians ever pulled off? It was to convince the world that Mozart was Austrian and that Hitler in fact was German.

Knock, Knock Who’s there? Hitler. Hitler who? For denying the holocaust you are now sentenced to ten years in an Austrian prison.

I’m watching TV My grandfather walks by: What’s on? Me: Soccer Grandfather: Who’s playing? Me: Austria-Hungary Grandfather:And Against who?

If the Austrian Police had a Orchestra, what instrument would they use? The Glockenspiel.

Some people wonder why Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn’t run for President… It’s only because he’s Austrian. And we all know what happened last time an Austrian came to power…

Why did the Austrian woman go to see a psychologist. Because she wanted a penis.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was ostracised when he was young. After taking steroids, however, he was Austria sized.

My friend asked me if I was hungry… I said no, I’m Austria.

What do you call an alien from Austria? Austalian

Guys I’m like next to Austria right now… Hungary, I could really go for a cheeseburger…

Austria’s Conchita Wurst wins Eurovision amid Russia, Ukraine tensions. (Take a look at this video.)

There is this guy from the Czech Republic that plays chess with his Austrian friend. Czech mate.

Grammar is super important.. Because I don’t want to be the mayor of fucking Austria. I want to be the mayor of Fucking, Austria.

What Austrian girls and wine have in common? Both mature in a cellar.

Switzerland on Austrians: “Why is the Austrian flag red-white-red’?” “So that they can’t raise it upside-down”






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