Some short jokes about Austria

Who was the greatest female author in German history? Ann Schluss. Her books had a way of taking over Czechoslovakia and Austria in particular.

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Have you heard of the Austrian man Duerf? He was the world’s leading reverse psychologist

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What do you call an Austrian woman’s undergarments? A Freudian Slip.

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Why did Turkey disappear? Because Austria was Hungary.

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What does a mole think, when he digs trough lower Austria? Make way, children.

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What’s the greatest trick the Austrians ever pulled off? It was to convince the world that Mozart was Austrian and that Hitler in fact was German.

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Knock, Knock Who’s there? Hitler. Hitler who? For denying the holocaust you are now sentenced to ten years in an Austrian prison.

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I’m watching TV My grandfather walks by: What’s on? Me: Soccer Grandfather: Who’s playing? Me: Austria-Hungary Grandfather:And Against who?

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If the Austrian Police had a Orchestra, what instrument would they use? The Glockenspiel.

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Some people wonder why Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn’t run for President… It’s only because he’s Austrian. And we all know what happened last time an Austrian came to power…

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Why did the Austrian woman go to see a psychologist. Because she wanted a penis.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger was ostracised when he was young. After taking steroids, however, he was Austria sized.

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My friend asked me if I was hungry… I said no, I’m Austria.

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What do you call an alien from Austria? Austalian

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Guys I’m like next to Austria right now… Hungary, I could really go for a cheeseburger…

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Austria’s Conchita Wurst wins Eurovision amid Russia, Ukraine tensions. (Take a look at this video.)

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There is this guy from the Czech Republic that plays chess with his Austrian friend. Czech mate.

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Grammar is super important.. Because I don’t want to be the mayor of fucking Austria. I want to be the mayor of Fucking, Austria.

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What Austrian girls and wine have in common? Both mature in a cellar.

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Switzerland on Austrians: “Why is the Austrian flag red-white-red’?” “So that they can’t raise it upside-down”

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